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Swept Off My Feet [Mar. 26th, 2006|06:15 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |The Sound Of Victory]

ok. im gonna get off the journal. i havent updated in like a month and i dont think i need to anymore. i have people to talk to about my "problems". im not insulting anyone in cyberland but i just wanna say that i cant do this right now. i need to straighten my life out before it begins to become some huge cesspool of antisocialism. i've everything in order again and its time to move on. i need to grasp life again. this is the outlet of a journal for someone who doesnt even exist anymore. there is no jonas. i am nick. or seamus to those who really dont know me. i've woken up. its time to go. im ready for the real world. im gonna start dating and im gonna start hanging out with friends. yes its time for those kind of things. damn staright. its been real guys. sorry.
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I Hate Apple [Feb. 21st, 2006|10:54 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |Iron and Wine-Each Coming Night]

i would apologize for not updating, but no one would forgive me. last week i had some mad decision to say what i want to say and when i want to say it. it worked for about twenty minutes before my mom looked at me with burning hate. today i said how i feel to someone and i just went, no holds barred. and it worked, i got a lot of stress off and i may be a little hurt, but the hurt will fade since i earned one of my only lifetime friends. my ipod broke. need a fucking new one. a biggg one. yeah. im not gonna talk about movies anymore unless someone asks me. i figured its the only thing i talk about and people must think im pretty one dimesional. i usually dont care, but id like to think im at least three dimensional. im gonna stop procrastinating, sooner or later. i did my working class hero for my project, and it was a hit. now im part of the theatre filmmakers group now that they respect my style. i spent the whole weekend locked at my dads. ive been working a lot. met a new girl. will ask her out soon. its nice to be in the run of things again. i have a weak case of laryngitis. so it gives me great pleasure to announce my scientific experiemtn to see if i cant talk for one whole day. i'll jsut use the inflammation as an excuse. yes. starting to think about future and im getting nowhere. but its ok. um. thats about it. um. please comment. with something! thanks. nick
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Hey You [Feb. 12th, 2006|12:26 am]
[mood |stressedstressed]
[music |Postal Service- Nothing Better]

im in that kinda funk mood again. not the one where im funking around but the one where i just cant wrap around the fact that i dont have a fucking girlfriend. im just sick of being single. and not just single, like totally and completely in no prospect of anyone near me. thats what sickens me. im only interested in like two people and ones totally not interested and the other one i just cant. and now fucking valentines day is coming up and i'll be surrounded with depressive bullshit until i just cant handle it!! i realized only a couple friends stood by and accepted my 80's day. my real friends. all the fakes ridiculed and poked. they will learn. yeah i know my song is the song i had earlier. but nothing better is the song that themes my life right now. im not gonna be a lamo and write all the lyrics down and shit, so just download if you wanna know how nicks life is. saw the squid and the whale. best movie i've seen in a fucking long time. good music, good acting, fucking amazing script. and the hot girl who played rogue in xmen is in it. anna paquin. shes so hot. i was very happy to see a good movie. im so stressed about this one man show thing. its gonna suck. and then i got so much AP shit to do, i think im gonna be sick. yup. sick. well im watching ferris buellers day off so im gonna go finish it now. later, nick.
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A Junction [Feb. 5th, 2006|09:21 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins- Handle With Care]

i really hate conflict. have you ever had conflicting feelings between your heart and your head? i got one now. it hurts. im sick. and bored. and really really tired. oh i dont know how i feel now. so many battles are going in my head its really hard to keep track. im not complaining. im just venting. well i better go to bed. i really didnt have anything interesting to say did i? nope. never do. i'll go now. bye, nick. p.s. i dont like football.
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Women? [Feb. 2nd, 2006|04:24 pm]
[music |John Lennon- Oh Yoko]

what a strange day. i just want to crawl in my bed and just hide where all the women cant see me anymore. morals always have to come first no matter what. jesus. i love this song. its about someone i hate, but i love it so much. it just reminds me how much i dont want to be single anymore, im sick of it. i need to settle down and just be happy. i am happy. i really am happy. i just need a girlfriend. its like this thirst for something like water, i dont want it all of the time, but deep inside i know i need it. i almost had the guts to ask someone. i was so close that i could almost taste a kiss, but i thought about the situation and i thought again. i wish i was in the position now. i would do things different now that i think about it. im not sending any more messages. im not bullshitting anymore. im not hiding my feelings so i can protect the future. not anymore. sry, the vagueness isnt really cool. i jsut re read and it looks like im sending someone out here a message. im not though. i assure you. its time to go to work. later, nick.
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So Hard [Jan. 27th, 2006|11:02 pm]
[mood |pensivepensive]
[music |Postal Service- Nothing Better]

its really hard to imagine a perfect life. no flaws. no hate. i thought about it today, and i came to the conclusion that it didnt exist. i feel so tired. not physically, but mentally. im exhausted. im gonna be one of those guys who suffers from anxiety attacks everyday before he turns 30. my friend ditched me tonight. went to go see a movie alone, again. kinda sucks. great movie though, called the matador. fucking hilarious. i just reread the past few sentences and i think im giving a stench of depression. im not depressed. im not in denial either. im just really fucking tired and bored and pensive and there are needs i want fulfilled. soon. not animalistic or anything, just needs. im not depressed, but im starting to actually think that i'm really just an asshole. plain and simple. to all my friends im a nice guy, but to girls that have a slight interest in me, i dont know what happens. i feel comfortable in saying this online because i dunno, im just being honest. i have confidence though. i see it everyday in a lot of couples. it will be me someday and i'll complain after a while just like everyone else, but still. better than this. ok got some batman and seinfeld to watch. good night.
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Endless Debate Between a Colossal Cerebrum and a Miniscule Idea [Jan. 9th, 2006|11:47 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |At The Drive-In - Napoleon Solo]

felt good today. brought someone to tears with a monologue, and now im actually thinking about acting again. blah....i hate when life calls. does anybody like six feet under? i havent ever watched it and im afraid to rent it because im afraid it might stink. comment on it. and...i really like curb your enthusiasm, but i've only watched like two episodes. does anyone have a copy of the first season so i can perhaps borrow it? sweet. i heart my new icon. i just talked to an old friend from middle school and i had to explain to him how much i have changed since 8th grade. all i could say was a lot. im getting glasses, im nearsighted. im kinda excited...and i just cant fight it, you know you know you know you want to. wow..hmm...gonna go now. nick.
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Don't Stop Believin' [Jan. 4th, 2006|12:37 am]
[mood |okayokay]
[music |We Might As Well Be Strangers- Keane]

today was absolutely....tiring. all of my drive has been taken away from school. i dont have any more life left in me. its jsut all school and work. i count the days before i leave for north. i feel really old. i really dont even know why i use this anymore. im thinking about getting rid of it. i guess i just like to think theres enough hope in the race that we can all just read about each others "feelings" and care. i think its more addictive than soothing. but not yet. just a few more entries. im so mentally and physically exhausted, so im going to go to bed. night, nick.
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I Need A More Creative Outlet [Jan. 3rd, 2006|01:06 am]
[mood |blankblank]
[music |Cat Stevens- Sing Out]

i figured out today i dont wanna be an actor for the rest of my life. think i might go into film history. sounds a lot more exciting and a lot more realistic. i saw like 8 people i knew this whole break. im starting to think im anti social or im a really bad friend. people use me. i dont like it. and you know, it more angrifying when they try to lie about it. and thats a lot of people right now. just watched robocop. except for the 60's and the 20's, i would wanna go back to the 80's. that would be awesome. my eyes are burning. ive been working a lot. probably should get some shut eye. good night. nick.
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It's A Wonderful Life [Dec. 26th, 2005|01:56 am]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |Sublime- What I Got]

you know, i really havent participated in any social activities since my release from school. i probably should. today i really didnt want to be around the family so i ditched and went to go see a movie by yself. and, i left in the middle of munich, which im sure is a great movie, but i just wasnt in the mood. so i went out, to my car, and just got this sudden impulse to drive to captiva, and i did. most of my childhood was spent out there and i just went out there to...ponder...and write. it was the best feeling. thats what really made my christmas. i know i havent updated in a while, im just kinda busy with work and stuff. sorry i havent been commenting either but i only really write bland stuff anyways. ha. alright, well, im gonna go now and listen to some music. later, nick.
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