||[Jan. 27th, 2006|11:02 pm]
|||||Postal Service- Nothing Better||]|
its really hard to imagine a perfect life. no flaws. no hate. i thought about it today, and i came to the conclusion that it didnt exist. i feel so tired. not physically, but mentally. im exhausted. im gonna be one of those guys who suffers from anxiety attacks everyday before he turns 30. my friend ditched me tonight. went to go see a movie alone, again. kinda sucks. great movie though, called the matador. fucking hilarious. i just reread the past few sentences and i think im giving a stench of depression. im not depressed. im not in denial either. im just really fucking tired and bored and pensive and there are needs i want fulfilled. soon. not animalistic or anything, just needs. im not depressed, but im starting to actually think that i'm really just an asshole. plain and simple. to all my friends im a nice guy, but to girls that have a slight interest in me, i dont know what happens. i feel comfortable in saying this online because i dunno, im just being honest. i have confidence though. i see it everyday in a lot of couples. it will be me someday and i'll complain after a while just like everyone else, but still. better than this. ok got some batman and seinfeld to watch. good night.